If your family was directly impacted by the fires or even if you’ve simply watched the destruction unfold on the news, you’re probably wondering how you can protect your child’s mental health right now.
How to Talk to Your Kids About the Los Angeles Wildfires
How to Talk to Your Kids About the Los Angeles Wildfires
Whole Child Neuro
The devastating wildfires in Los Angeles this month—from the Palisades fire to the Altadena fire—have left a profound impact on our communities.
Homes and neighborhoods were destroyed, taking with them treasured memories, irreplaceable items, generational wealth, and a sense of safety.
Families had to evacuate in fear for their lives, while others anxiously awaited evacuation orders. These experiences are deeply traumatic for adults and children alike, and it’s normal to feel grief, fear, and even hopelessness in the aftermath.
To our Los Angeles community: we are here for you and your children during this time of unimaginable devastation and grief.
If your family was directly impacted by the fires or even if you’ve simply watched the destruction unfold on the news, you’re probably wondering how you can protect your child’s mental health right now. Natural disasters like wildfires are frightening, and for children, the uncertainty and upheaval can feel overwhelming and frustrating.
Understanding how trauma impacts children and how to talk with them about these events can help you support your child and your family during this difficult time.
The impact of wildfires on child mental health
The fires in LA have left both visible and invisible scars on our communities. For families who evacuated, the experience of packing up and fleeing in fear is a traumatic event. For families who didn’t evacuate, living in a state of “what if,” while smoke darkens the sky and evacuation orders remain a possibility can be equally distressing.
The loss of homes, schools, or beloved community spaces can create grief and a sense of disconnection for children, who tend to thrive on stability and routine. It’s also difficult for children to see their caregivers in distress, and the fires in LA have caused distress to most of us. The unpredictability of the last few weeks may be taking their toll on the whole family.
Trauma from events like wildfires can manifest in many ways for children. These are some symptoms of trauma to watch out for in your child:
Anxiety and fear: Kids might worry about future disasters, sudden evacuations, or losing their home.
Changes in behavior: Some children may become more withdrawn, while others might act out.
Sleep disturbances: Nightmares or difficulty falling asleep are common signs of distress.
Physical symptoms: Stomachaches, headaches, and other complaints without a medical cause can often be linked to stress and anxiety.
Difficulty concentrating: Whether at school or home, kids might struggle to focus due to preoccupation with their fears.
If your child is showing these or other concerning behaviors, it might be a sign they need extra support right now. Talking to them about their feelings can help, and professional help from a child therapist may also be beneficial.
Why is it important to talk to my child about the wildfires?
Children often pick up on much more than we realize. Even if your family wasn’t directly affected by the fires, your child may have questions or worries about what’s happening. Kids are often unsure how to express these feelings, and without guidance, their fears can grow and become debilitating. Having open and honest conversations with your child can help them feel less alone and more secure.
Talking about the wildfires gives your child space to process their emotions. It’s an opportunity to reassure them, correct any misconceptions, and provide age-appropriate information about what happened and what comes next. This doesn’t mean you need to have all the answers—it’s okay to acknowledge your own feelings and uncertainty as well.
If you’re wondering how to have these conversations with your children about the LA wildfires, here are some tips to guide your conversations:
Create a safe space for discussion
Let your child know it’s okay to share their feelings and that no emotion is wrong. Use affirming language like, “It’s normal to feel scared or sad after something like this.” Let them know that you’re also experiencing a lot of feelings, and that you can talk about them together.
To find out what your child is already aware of, start by asking open-ended questions like: “What have you heard about the fires?” or “How are you feeling about everything that’s happened in the last couple of weeks?” Kids might worry about different things than you expect, so it’s important to get a feel for what is on their mind when you have these conversations.
Be honest, but age-appropriate
Not having information can be frightening for children. It’s important to be honest with your child about what’s going on, but to also consider their age when approaching these conversations.
Younger children may need simple explanations: “There was a big fire that hurt a lot of houses, but firefighters worked very hard to stop it,” or “Lots of people had to leave their houses, but there are lots of helpers making sure everyone is okay.”
Older children and teens can handle more detail about what’s going on, and they may have picked up on more information via friends or social media. You might discuss the causes of wildfires and how communities come together to rebuild afterward. Encourage them to ask questions and say what they’re thinking.
It's also okay if you don’t know all the answers! No one does. Be prepared to look up answers together if needed. It might also be helpful to discuss misinformation and disinformation on social media platforms during times of disaster, because incorrect information gets spread very quickly. Practicing checking reliable sources with your older children and teens can help empower them to find answers and think critically about information they see online.
Remind them they’re safe
Many kids are feeling afraid that their families are in danger due to the wildfires, especially since they’re not completely contained yet. Escaping your house in a life or death situation is not something that most kids are prepared for, and it can leave them feeling profoundly unsafe. One way to comfort your child during this time is to remind them that they’re safe, that you will keep them safe, and that there are a lot of good people out there working to keep everyone safe.
For children who evacuated their homes, reassure them that your family is safe and highlight the steps taken by firefighters and other community members to protect them. For those who didn’t evacuate, explain why your home was not in danger and others were.
Let them know that you have plans to keep them safe no matter what happens. Share plans for what you would do in future emergencies, and work on emphasizing preparedness over fear. Whether it’s masking, preparing a go-bag, educating on fire safety, or making an evacuation plan for disasters, this can help kids feel more secure knowing that there is a plan in place for when bad things happen.
Validate the grief and loss they’re feeling
The emotional toll of the devastation in LA is incalculable, and children are not immune to feeling the sense of grief. If your family lost your home or belongings, acknowledge the pain of that loss: “Losing our home is so hard because it held so many special memories.” Let them know that it’s okay to miss their home, to feel sad about what happened, and to be angry that their lives are different now. Encourage them to share what they miss most and find ways to honor those memories, like drawing pictures or creating a small photo album.
For those who did not lose their homes, there is still an immense sense of community grief. Seeing your city burn overnight is traumatizing, and worrying about your loved ones and neighbors during the blazes and in the aftermath takes a toll. Let them know that whatever they’re feeling is okay, and that you can talk about it with them.
Discussing the grief you’re all feeling can help you model emotional regulation skills to your children. Kids look to their parents for cues on how to handle emotions, and this is an opportunity for you to demonstrate ways to deal with what’s going on. It’s okay to share your feelings of sadness or fear, but also show them how you cope. “I feel sad about what we lost, but talking with you helps me feel better.”
Focus on ways you can help your community
One of our favorite quotes from Mister Rogers is about finding the people who are helping in the aftermath of tragedies. He says “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”
Our community has already come together in beautiful ways since the fires started, and our communities will be what gets us through this trauma. This can be a helpful message to share with your children, to help them feel less hopeless. Highlight how people come together after disasters, whether by helping those in need or rebuilding homes and schools.
Engage your child in age-appropriate acts of kindness to help them channel their feelings about what’s going on. Consider writing thank-you notes to firefighters and other emergency personnel, donating toys or supplies to families who lost everything, looking through GoFundMes together and raising money for donations (have a bake sale, set up a lemonade stand, save their allowance, etc.), volunteering as a family, and getting to know your neighbors.
Stick to their routine as much as possible
Children are creatures of routine, and it can be really stressful to interrupt their daily schedule. To help lower anxiety and stress, see if you can stick to their routine as much as you can. If you have evacuated, this may be more difficult to do, so do what you can and try not to feel guilty about what’s limiting you, as it’s out of your control.
If there are things you aren’t able to do that they are asking for, it’s okay to talk to them and explain why that’s not possible right now. It might feel helpful for them to be offered some choices on what they can do, so they can feel a sense of control and empowerment in a confusing situation. Your child’s needs may also change from what’s usual for them right now. They might need extra snuggle time with you, or extra reassurance that they’re safe. Whatever their needs are, incorporate them into your daily routine as a way to help them feel validated.
Limit media exposure where you can
Watching the news or seeing images of the destruction can be scary for kids, so do what you can to limit their exposure to scary images or videos, or disturbing news stories. Try to watch the news when your kids aren’t around, and be aware that kids pick up on more than we give them credit for.
With the speed of social media and the internet, it might be hard to control what media older kids and teens consume, so make sure to talk to them about what they’re seeing. Maybe set up a nightly check in where you can answer questions or get an idea of what they’ve seen.
Get help from a mental health professional
It’s important to remember that recovery from a traumatic event like a wildfire is a long-term process. Give your child time and space to adjust, and seek help if they’re struggling to cope. A therapist or neuropsychologist can provide tailored support for children and families dealing with trauma, grief, or anxiety due to the wildfires in LA.
As a parent, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed while managing your own emotions alongside your child’s, especially during a tragedy like what is happening in Los Angeles.
Remind yourself that you’re doing your best in a terrible situation, and lean on your community for support, whether that’s friends, family, or mental health professionals. Los Angeles is a wonderful place full of incredible families, and we know that we will navigate this challenging time together, as we rebuild and re-establish our hope for the safety and the future of our communities.
Is your family looking for extra support right now?
Whole Child Neurodevelopment Group is a leading provider of psychological services by offering comprehensive neuropsychological evaluations and therapy services for children and young adults in the Greater Los Angeles area. Contact us today to schedule a consultation for your child.